I’ve been  thinking about friendship a great deal lately. What makes a friend? Do we have different friends for different parts of our  life? Different times?  Different activities? I know I do. I have bus stop  mama friends. I have swimming friends. Friends I knit and cook with and so many other types of friends.   I wonder though is it possible to be friends with a  former lover? What happens when the relationship ends? Where does the love go?  Recently I had contact with  someone I had dated for the past 6 months.  Things ended in August. In reality they should have ended in June. With poking and prodding  on both sides it lasted  longer than it should have. While I have not contacted him I did think about him  on and off during  the five months we had no contact. I wondered, and pondered. I assumed that he had moved on and was dating again.  That’s part of his pattern, I knew it when we started but did not see it for the red flag that  it was.

We had contact over the holidays, a three hour conversation.   It was good  in a way, but also opened up some old feelings for me. I suggested drinks, but it never happened  there was an email exchange that in essence slammed that door shut. While I know it is for  the best, I still wonder. It is not easy to turn off feelings.  Paying attention to false promises that were never going to come to fruition  was not healthy. So that door will stay shut. I am ready to move on, and make new friends. I wonder what will happen next!

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