I’ve been thinking about friendship a great deal lately. What makes a friend? Do we have different friends for different parts of our life? Different times? Different activities? I know I do. I have bus stop mama friends. I have swimming friends. Friends I knit and cook with and so many other types of friends. I wonder though is it possible to be friends with a former lover? What happens when the relationship ends? Where does the love go? Recently I had contact with someone I had dated for the past 6 months. Things ended in August. In reality they should have ended in June. With poking and prodding on both sides it lasted longer than it should have. While I have not contacted him I did think about him on and off during the five months we had no contact. I wondered, and pondered. I assumed that he had moved on and was dating again. That’s part of his pattern, I knew it when we started but did not see it for the red flag that it was.
We had contact over the holidays, a three hour conversation. It was good in a way, but also opened up some old feelings for me. I suggested drinks, but it never happened there was an email exchange that in essence slammed that door shut. While I know it is for the best, I still wonder. It is not easy to turn off feelings. Paying attention to false promises that were never going to come to fruition was not healthy. So that door will stay shut. I am ready to move on, and make new friends. I wonder what will happen next!
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